Monday and the Legion of Doom

I'm going to just come right out and say it. This week sucked. Big time. If I had to measure on a scale of one to ten, one being Sunshine and Kittens and Ten being eaten alive by a shark while the Sheriff of Amityville looks on in mute horror, I would have to go with an eight.
"It's Mega Maid sir! She's gone from suck to blow!"
Nothing seems to have fallen into place.
Nothing clicked, clacked or clucked for that matter. I feel like I have been trapped in an alternate universe where I am even less cool than I am in my normal dimension.
And that's not saying much.
It's August here in the Northern Hemisphere so it goes without saying that no matter where you are it's a good bet that it's hot outside. I live in Florida so, yeah, it's frakkin hot. The week started out with my AC unit going on the blink. Yes. Lovely. Thank you Mister AC. So nice of you to take a sick day during the hottest month of the the year. By the time I get home, the gorgeous Florida sunshine has turned my house into an oven. 89 degrees outside, 94 inside.
Don't you just love it when your home is properly insulated? I know I do. I won't complain because I have a home and a lot of folks don't. But it is hot.
And eventually I will get it fixed. Right now it's just an inconvenience. If that was the only goofy thing that happened this week, I would not be so damn whiny.
And yeah, I am really whiny. I hate being whiny.I want to kick my own ass when I am whiny. My car started to act up too. And it has never done that before. Turns out, the battery was the culprit. Dead. It's sad really, the battery seemed so young, so full of life. It caught us all off guard. It wasn't sick, looked healthy as a horse. Sometimes life can be cruel.
Frustration after frustration.
In the mood for Chinese food?
You have to settle for Pizza.
On second thought, no pizza for you either! You get crackers.
And water.
And a wedgie.
You make one small comment about sucker punching Monday and the whole week goes all Bananas on you. Tuesday tripped me up, slapped the books out of my hand. Wednesday tried to help out but really, it's too neutral, doesn't like to get involved in weekday shenanigans. Thursday, my buddy, stepped up only to get whacked upside the head with a pipe wrench.Out cold.I woke up today with an achy back, a twangy hamstring, tied to chair in a dark room with a single light bulb overhead and Monday laughing sinisterly in the background. This won't end well. Oh, and a roach crawled across my desk. First the mice leaving little poops all over the place and now a German Cockroach?
Oh. Hell. No.
That is the last straw my friend. Time to put an end to the shenanigans. Monday, please allow me to introduce you to my good friend Friday. The door explodes inward, showering me and a suddenly nervous Monday with splintered fragments. Moving with the speed of a cobra, sporting facial hair that Chuck Norris could only dream of, Friday whirls into action.With a vicious roundhouse kick that reverberates like thunder rolling over the low hills of Appalachia, Friday ends Monday's hold on the work week and send it hurtling into next week where it will no doubt return, lurking in the shadows like the pestilent little demon it is.
That's okay. I'm not afraid.For every Monday there is a Friday to defend us.
And today is Friday.